At Least I'm Honest.

It's 10:30pm. Joey and the girls are sound asleep but my mind is racing, as usual. I just got out of the shower that was both relaxing and energizing, as I became flooded with not only hot water but a thousand sizzling thoughts. Tonight, the shower brought forth a cleansing of many things... the removal of dried baby food stuck to my arm, the scrubbing of pretty little pictures drawn on my hand with purple magic marker, and the ever so vivid realization that I haven't written or recorded ANY of the hilarious things that my girls have said and done this week. Shame on me!! These precious moments are so fleeting that I fear they will completely disappear from my memory if I don't take the time to preserve them now! I imagine the internet will be around forever so it is likely that my blog will continue into infinity as well. So, under that presumption, I suppose this is the perfect place to keep our family memories alive. I am determined to use the next few "posts" to recall as many of these special daughter moments as I can.

To be honest, I'm rather frustrated with myself for not blogging in over a week. I have a friend who is my age with SEVEN kids and somehow she always manages to blog. WHEN does she find the time? In the middle of the night? Blogging aside, I frankly have no idea how she does anything. This woman home-schools, sews all of her children's clothing, prepares meals from scratch, surmounts piles and piles of laundry (and I thought WE had a lot of clothes?) and does all sorts of cute, crafty little projects with the kids to keep them stimulated, educated, and happy. When I think about her, I can't help but feel both empowered and depressed. We have a "middle school reunion" coming up at the end of the month and I'm going to see this girlfriend for the first time in years. I may ask her what her secret is, but I have a feeling the answer is short and sweet: GOD.

Okay, so. These days, I am starting to realize a lot about myself and in effort to discover the genuine ME (i.e. who I am) I've begun working on a series of introspection projects. One of them is a "Memoir" of sorts, in which I have thus far only scribbled three or four typewritten pages about myself... the good and the not-so-good. I stopped writing last week after my motivation and inspiration vanished into the black hole in our house --the same black hole that is known to swallow socks and earrings. My next project is this blog. Doing great as you can see with a whopping TWO ENTRIES so far, including this one! The third self-exploration project I've started and left hanging is a diary that I am trying to keep on a daily basis in my phone. Let's just say my best-intentions are being suffocated by the grind of daily life in the Brock household. Things are not ideal but I think the good Lord knows what he is doing when he throws too much on my plate. And.. most importantly... I am resolved to stop worrying about trivial things like dishes piled up in the sink or the mountains of dirty clothes in our bathroom. Instead, I am consciously trying to focus on the little things like not losing my temper when I observe Savannah scratching her 2 year old "artwork" into our brand new dining room table with a fork.... and nurturing Joey at the end of a long day, rather than nagging him to help me more with the girls' baths. In a nutshell, I am attempting to mold myself into the kind of Christian my mom is - even though we all know deep down that she is an ANGEL and I am not. :)

(Hey, at least I'm honest.)